Girlfriend Jokes

FUNNY JOKE: Girlfriend, A New Metal That Has Been Discovered By Scientists

Our scientists are doing a great job these days. They have discovered a new metal which has been with us since the world began.

The metal we are talking about is called Girlfriend.

Symbol: GF

Atomic Mass: Lighter when first found but gets heavier over time.

Physical properties

Boils at any time especially when they're on their period.

Can freeze at any time.

Melts if treated with love.

Very bitter if mishandled and cheated on.

Chemical Properties

Very Reactive.

Highly Unstable.

Possesses strong affinity towards gold, silver, diamond, platinum, credit cards, debit cards and cheque books.

Money reducing agent.


Mostly found in front of the mirror.

It's highly flammable when mixed with in-laws.

It has mixed properties when seated with parents.

Very harmful to you if she sees you with any element similar to itself.


1. Back in the days in school, one of the prayers I always pray is that two girls will engage in a fight in front of me so that I will have the chance to grope them trying to separate the fight.

2. Some guys have made their dicks like rental chairs. Every weekend it has a programme to serve.

3. I helped this lady to carry two gallons full of water up to the 7th floor and when we reached her front door can you believe what she told me? She said, "Just leave it in front of the door, my boyfriend is inside he will come and carry it inside." I just carried it back downstairs.

4. I gave this kid in my neighbourhood $2.00 to buy me something from the shop which costs $1.50. I wanted to show some kindness so I asked him to keep the $0.50 change. Can you believe that this kid came back eating candies and gave me $1.50 telling me the product I sent him to buy is finished from the shop?

5. WIFE: Honey, since we married we don't go out, we don't eat at fancy restaurants, you don't give me gifts, you are not romantic anymore and you don't say I'm beautiful anymore​.

HUSBAND: Darling, have you ever seen a politician campaigning after winning an election?

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