Friends Jokes

Friends Loyalty Test - Husband Vs Wife

Husband and wife sitting together look at the phone

My wife and I were arguing one morning about who had loyal friends so we decided to find out.

We decided to call each other friends and ask them some questions to see whose friends will cover for us.

I called my wife's friends one after the other.

ME: Hello madam, my wife didn't sleep at home last night, and I can't reach her, is she with you or did she tell you where she was going? 

WIFE'S FRIEND 1: Omg! Noooo, I haven't even seen or heard from her for the past 3 weeks. I have no idea where she is, maybe you should call her best friend. Hangs up. 

WIFE'S FRIEND 2: Wow! This is very serious. I haven't seen her. Why will a woman leave her husband and sleep somewhere? What kind of stupid wife is that? I have always warned her to be careful and change her ways or else she will lose her marriage but she doesn't listen. Please take it easy, wherever she is, she won't stay there forever. Hangs up. 

WIFE'S FRIEND 3: I said it. I had always felt like she's cheating on you, now my feelings are confirmed. Wonders shall never end. Finally, she's been exposed for who she really is. We quarrelled a few days ago so we have not been in touch, but I will call her other friends and ask. I will call you back once I have any information. Hangs up. 

My wife calls my friends, asking the same question: 

MY FRIEND 1: I saw him last night. We were together for a very long time and he said he was going home, so don't worry I'm sure he's fine. Maybe he had a police problem or something. Just relax, whatever it is, there must be a good explanation for it. Hangs up. He calls husband immediately. "Hey, buddy where have you been? Please go home now, your wife is looking for you."

MY FRIEND 2: Oh madam, I'm so sorry, I was going to call to tell you. Your husband fell sick last night, so I took him to my family hospital and the doctor insisted he should be kept under observation. I'm sure it's stress from work. I didn't want you to get worried that's why I didn't call you but he's been discharged and he's on his way home. You'll see him at any moment. Hangs up and calls husband immediately. "Hey what's wrong with you? Anyway, I told your wife that you were not feeling well so you spend the night in the hospital. I told her you are on the way coming so go home as fast as you can.

MY FRIEND 3: Your husband is in my house still asleep. We were all drunk last night, he couldn't drive and I don't know the way to your house, so I brought him to my house to spend the night. Please I'll wake him up now and make sure he gets home soon. Hangs up and calls husband immediately. "Your wife just called me asking for your whereabouts but I told her that you slept in my house and you are still asleep. Be hurry and go home now."

Now tell me, who has better friends?

Funny Short Jokes

1. Imagine you're showing your wife something on your phone and a message appears saying "Did you cum in me last night?"

2. You are scared of bees but, you respond whenever you are called honey.

3. Having sex with a tall girl is fun until she crosses her legs all over your back it feels like you've been attacked by an Octopus.

4. Forget about sex. Nothing is sweeter than urinating and farting at the same time first thing in the morning.

5. So those guys without a beard, what do you pull when you are thinking about life?

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About David Asiedu


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