Food Jokes

FUNNY JOKE: I Ate Poison Food

Cooked rice

After buying a bag of rice from the store nearby, I heard it in the news that some bags of rice in my area has been poisoned by terrorists with the intension of killing many people in my community.

I had already cooked some of the rice before I saw it in the news.

I didn't want to throw it away because according to the news, some of the rice and not all were poisoned.

I gave some to my dog to eat first so see what would happen.

2 hour later, my dog was still alive and playing in the backyard.

I went ahead and finished the rest of the rice.

Few minutes after I finished eating my rice, my house help came and told me that my dog is dead.

At that moment I knew I was about to die.

I quickly run to the kitchen and drink all the oil that I have in order to vomit some of the food I ate out of my system.

I chewed 7 bitter cola nuts, walnuts, moringa leaves, aloe vera, onions and garlic.

I then picked my car key, run outside towards my car.

Almost reaching my car, my house help came to told me that the driver that killed my dog accidentally is here to beg me.

1. Some girls will never stop teasing. They know you have a pen top dick but they will be telling you "Baby go deep, dig deep." why? Do you think we mining?

2. You called me with a private number and expect me to speak first? We will do a breathing competition till one of us phone battery goes down.

3. If you are dating any woman you know you won't marry, let her go, you are holding someone's wife hostage. That's a criminal offence.

4. After having sex with a fat girl, you be like "Baby, see your jacket on the floor. And she'll reply "Which jacket? that's my underwear."

5. Some hearts are single, but the pussy is dating.

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